by: Shakila Rajendra

Career Woman wonders if she shouldn’t have given up on having a family.

Stay-at-Home Mom wonders if her marriage and kids are worth the career she sacrificed?

Both women envy those women who (seem to) ‘have it all’. You know, the ones who’ve struck that perfect balance of career success and personal life. Little do they realise the very women they’re envying – the working mothers who ‘have it all’ – are living in constant frustration amidst day-to-day competing demands and drowned in mom-guilt!
This begs the question: why in 2020, are we still wondering if we can ‘have it all’?

The truth is, juggling that balance between having a successful career as well as having a family of your own is an expectation put only on women. And mostly by women themselves!

Traditionally men have always been thought to be the primary breadwinners, while women the caregivers. But there has been a clear shift in these societal roles (however unspoken) in today’s modern society.

Yet us women struggle to carve out our own definitions beyond those put upon us for eons. We still yearn to be recognised for our ability to nurture, and to act as primary caregivers. Yet more of us are also bringing home the bread… well, half a loaf at least!

We want to be acknowledged for our dual roles and we are BURNING OUT. Isn’t it time to create our own definitions of who we are and what we expect of ourselves?

Having a successful professional life should not mean having to give up a family life. Neither should one apologise for being a contented homemaker. Or a full-on career woman.

Feminism paved the way for us women to have the luxury of choice. So we must choose for ourselves what makes us truly happy and fulfilled.
Our measure of success should no longer be how much we had to give up or how good we are at juggling our work-life balance, but rather, what is most meaningful to us and how we choose to get it.So hey, it is OKAY to stay home (and be proud of what you cooked for dinner last night)! Just as it sure is OKAY to pursue career glory without kids (or husband in tow) (and share your latest exotic vacation pictures on Facebook).

Either choice does not make you any less of a woman. ‘Having it all’ shouldn’t mean doing it all. Release yourself from all expectations and get on with living your life!

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