Medical doctor at Assunta Hospital’s emergency department. Senior dancer at the Temple of Fine Arts (TFA) Kuala Lumpur teaching Kathak dance classes in hope of passing her knowledge and skills to the next generation.
I wish I could feel loved and safe around my family. Unfortunately, this isn’t my reality, and will never be; even if a genie would grant me a thousand wishes. The irony of how the father’s failure led to his son’s – towards the women in their families.
My parents did and do love us though, but their way of loving us suffocated us on most days. It swallowed us whole. And throughout time, it started to envelop us like a flood of grief, loss and never-ending unhappiness.
As humans, we’re hardwired for intimate connections. When you share only laughter but not your pain, you’re allowing only half of you in the relationship. To enjoy a relationship where you are intimately connected requires the both of you to be willing to open up to one another.
As I sit down to write this letter-of-sorts to my younger self, the cicadas and crickets and other night insects outside are singing – nature’s very own a cappella. My child is asleep, my day is done – and I think that life is overall, good.
You don’t have to reach rock bottom to get help. Be aware if your substance use is affecting your functioning life- physically (health), psychologically (mentally), socially or even financially. If it is, please reach out for help.
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