by Yeung Yeu-Gynn

My then boyfriend who is now husband and yours truly.
Photo Credit: Yeung Yeu-Gynn

Relationships seem complicated, but they don’t have to be.

While it’s perfectly normal to look out for ‘red flags’ in a relationship, which are things you shouldn’t tolerate or want in a partner, what if those flags just aren’t “red” enough? What does that mean?

Don’t worry, it’s a good sign.

It doesn’t mean you’re not observant enough, you just have to look for something else, something entirely different. Take a deep breath, and look for ‘green flags’ instead, which are the complete opposite of the scarlet latter; they signal good traits in a partner and in a relationship.

These ‘green flags’ signify a healthy relationship. Read on to find out some of the signs that your loved one is a keeper for life. It’s that simple.

Sometimes green flags could be as small as a supportive partner when it comes to taking selfies!
Photo Credit: Yeung Yeu-Gynn

You are comfortable in silence

Silences don’t necessarily have to be awkward, and your days don’t have to be filled with words that don’t mean much. If you and your partner are comfortable in silence and doing your own thing, yet still enjoy spending time together in the same room, it’s a sign that this relationship is going to be a fulfilling one.

It doesn’t matter if one person is usually chattier than the other, whether you enjoy being quiet together or simply basking in each others’ silent affection, it never feels like a chore to be together. In fact, comfortable silences make you feel kind of warm and fuzzy on the inside.

You support each other’s dreams and ambitions

Growth is natural for every person. Whether you or your partner want to climb the corporate ladder, start a business, further your education, travel the world, or be a stay-at-home parent, it’s important that you and your partner support each other’s dreams and ambitions. And yes, perhaps being a stay-at-home parent is part of that dream.

For example, in a heterosexual relationship, some men’s egos may feel bruised if their female partner earns more money than them, but it doesn’t have to be that way. If you and your partner can put aside your egos and sincerely empower each other to pursue fulfill dreams and aspirations, it’s a ‘green flag,’ waving at you and encouraging this relationship to go forth.

My husband and I during our trip to UK in 2019 (left) & us taking a selfie in Tanjong Sepat (right)
Photo Credit: Yeung Yeu-Gynn

You can go to bed angry

Despite the popular old-time relationship advice aka “don’t go to bed angry,” it’s actually okay to do so.Especially after a heated argument in the middle of the night when the both of you need time to cool off. If you and your partner can go to bed angry, wake up with a clearer headspace, and still love each other, it’s a sign of a healthy relationship.

There is wisdom in sleeping on things and solving the problem calmly when you wake up in the morning because negative emotions like anger, which would normally impair your judgment, would have faded by then. All you’re left with after a good night’s sleep is logic, which makes it more practical for conflict resolution.

Your small deeds are reciprocated

It doesn’t matter which partner does what, but it’s important that what you do gets reciprocated, even in small ways. For example, if you washed the dishes today, your partner does the same tomorrow. If you paid for today’s date, your partner pays for the next date. Without even asking. Or being asked to.

This shows that the couple shares a mutual understanding, that no good deed goes without being rewarded in kind. In a way, neither partner will feel unsatisfied in the relationship because both are equal contributors, perhaps not on the same day, but over time, as the relationship blossoms into one that’s long-term and filled with kindness.

Be a part of the TAW Community! A space for Asian women to connect, to voice out, to laugh, to share experiences and to bounce life’s question.

Click here to join!